Throw the Mind [dot] Com » Feelings

10 Years Ago…

Nathan — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 05:16:49 +0000

I was standing at the head of the line in Karate class when our instructor got a call. It had finally happen, a very good friend of mine had passed away. We all knew it was going to happen, she had been on life support for months, but I remember my heart dropping to the floor. We had became really good friends over the months before her aneurysm. I remember we used to ride our bikes home from Karate class. Those were the times. The last time I saw her as her normal self was doing just that riding out bikes home. The next morning is when she had the aneurysm, but it wasn’t until a few days later I found out what had happen. I had not seen her at school so I went and found her best friend who informed me she was in the hospital in very serious condition. The aneurysm happened right before Halloween, but she was in a coma until November 20th, at which time her parents took her off life support and died at 6:52pm I believe. I do know that her parents donated her organs which is awesome. So maybe there are still parts of her living on. I wonder what ever happen to Jay and Beth, I know they got divorced, and Beth was still shaken up over Jessica’s death for years afterwards, but I would still like to say hi to them. Anyways ten years later and Jessica is still a big part of my life. I don’t think about her everyday, but I have made her birthday part of my everyday life.

I will always love you Jessica Scott. You where the one person I wanted to be friends forever with and never got the chance. I hope you had a great time in out little city of Schofield Wi

Tags: Feelings, Jessica-Scott, Women

Is my Birthday seeking the answers to life?

Nathan — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 01:15:58 +0000

So Friday was my birthday. It was all of a normal day, School, Work, 2600 meeting, Bring Popcorn, then home. Have you ever looked back at your life. I mean like on your birthday or Christmas or New Years or something. Look back, and think about what you did a year before, or 5 years before on that very day. Well I have to say, when I look back, last year I saw myself happy and loving spending time with a special someone. I can’t seem to remember much about my birthday 5 years ago, but 6 years ago was when I got my drivers license. Also I remember meeting a girl by the name of Beverly (wow would be cool to talk to her again). Some birthdays stick out, some are rather normal. I have gone through 22 now, and hopefully 22 more will follow. But throughout those 22 birthdays, I can’t say for sure one was better than another. Life moves at rapid speeds, should we reflect of the past or just live life as it is dealt. I have yet to figure this out. Just living life with the hand your dealt is great, but in doing so do you miss out, do you miss out of things that need to be planned? Do you miss out on life because you haven’t looked back and decided how to deal with certain problems? But here is the real question, do you really want to know the answer to these questions?

Tags: Birthday, Feelings, Friends

Chipped Tooth, and Game Over

Nathan — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 23:18:28 +0000

So I think i figured out why your not suppose to bite your nails. While in the process of doing that I chipped my front tooth. Yay for me right. Its weird when something so small changes in your mouth, you can’t seem to keep your mind off it. Anyway on to subject two.

I just got off the phone with someone. Some of you may know who I am talking about, if you don’t, well it doesn’t really matter, cause its game over for me. Which I saw coming. Its like when you are playing a game and only have 2% health left, you know the game is over, it is just a matter of when. Well I’m dead. I hit the “we are better friends” ball. Although it wasn’t put in those exact words, but I knew what was meant. Oh well, its not the first time and probably not the last.

Tags: Dental, Feelings, Women

Protected: Memories of her keep falling into my life!

Nathan — Wed, 31 May 2006 19:33:40 +0000

Tags: Feelings, Women

The games are over.

Nathan — Wed, 31 May 2006 04:55:10 +0000

As I stated in an earlier post, I like playing the games girls play, well I like playing them while I think they might lead to something better. But usually they don’t. Then you are stuck with a lighter wallet, and some memorable moments. But other than that, you have nothing……ok during the course of this post I have found out that maybe the games are not completely over, they just need to be played differently…now comes the choice do I keep playing or just let the games subside and see what happens. But as some of you who read this know I won’t stop.

A friend of mine made a post on his blog not to long ago. It stated his track record with women, and why he now has so many rules. I have a feeling this post was pointed at me, if not oh well, it still got my attention. Anyway, reading his post I realized what I was doing, but you know what I didn’t care. Maybe it’s just who I am, but I think it might be the girl. Either way I probably won’t stop playing what ever games she wants to play.

Tags: Feelings, Women

Been doing some thinking

Nathan — Sat, 06 May 2006 06:36:42 +0000

On my way home tonight I started to think about relationships. I realized what I want in a relationship. I want all the lovey dovey stuff, but what I really want more than anything if for someone to show they care about me. It’s easy to do, just send a text message, a myspace commit, call, anything, just do it before I do. Something so simple, if huge for me. It’s the greatest feeling in the world for me. A couple of weeks ago, there was someone who was doing this. She would send a text saying good morning, this made my day. Seriously. Now lately I don’t know whats been going on with her, but it seems as though yet again I have screwed something up. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll try to talk to her tomorrow.

Oh by the way, Lauren is sick. I have been debating if I should tell her to get well soon, or just leave her be. I noticed my rss reader picked up a new blog entry of hers (guess I forgot about having that rss feed) she seems really down. I am too nice of a guy to let her think no one cares. So Lauren I hope you get well soon, and if you want to talk you know how to get a hold of me.

Tags: Feelings, MySpace, Women

WOW!!

Nathan — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 05:34:17 +0000

So I walked into the UC tonight, and who do I see. Well thats the thing, I see a girl waving at me, but I didn’t know who it was. Then i realized it was Lauren. I had no idea, this is a girl I saw everyday for over a year, and with in 2 months she changed so much I didn’t know her. So I looked at some pictures from facebook, and yep she has changed. Also its crazy that her new guy looks like a bigger version of me. Someone told me that tonight. Anyway, as far as feelings go. There were none, but that could be cause I didn’t recognize her.

Tags: Crazy, Feelings, Women

Someone new for me and her!

Nathan — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 05:10:41 +0000

So last night I was chatting with Amber. We were talking about “us”, and how she will be moving at the end of July. I knew this when I found out she liked me, and before I made any decisions I had to do a lot of thinking. I came to the decision that I wanted to have a relationship with her, she wanted that also. So we decided we could get serious if it came to that, but we would always keep her moving in the back of our minds. This is all well and good, except for the fact that I have felt like she has been ignoring me. I don’t get women, they are strange and bizarre creatures. By the way I was just checking out Lauren’s myspace profile and noticed she has changed her status to “in a relationship”. You would think after over a month, news like this might not hurt, and it didn’t hurt the other night when we were chatting about it online. But it is harder to see her status change knowing that it is not me she is in a relationship with, and knowing that my hopefully upcoming relationship my not last long.

Tags: Feelings, MySpace, Women

Yay! Fresh Install yay!

Nathan — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 20:58:44 +0000

Oh shut up ackis. I guess I will not be installing pcanywhere 11 again. Last night I tried this and guess what, it screwed up my registry. So from about 9pm-3am I tried to fix it, then from about 9am-2pm I reinstalled windows. What a great way to spend a weekend. Although it didn’t piss me off that much, it was about time to reinstall anyways.

Ok I have another thing on my mind. It’s women. Why do they make us work for them? Why do we have to play games with them? Can’t we as humans just tell each other our feelings? Wouldn’t this be much easier? I think so. But this is not how we play, we have to play their games. Although their games are strange and complicated, we must play. Why is this?

Tags: Crazy, Feelings, Women

SSH Tunnel

Nathan — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 22:34:32 +0000

So I finally got a SSH Tunnel set up and working. So everything that goes through the browser is encrypted. With this new job, I think they may actually watch the network, and I don’t like the idea of my traffic being watched. So now they cant see it…he he Well anyway, it’s off to the 2600 meeting tonight, then to the anti-V-day/housewarming party over at Honey’s, Cherry’s and Mog’s Should be fun, well at least I hope so. This will be the first time in a while I’m going to go out and not care what Lauren is doing for the night. Although we did spend a little time together today. It was weird cause, everything was the same when we used to hang out, except we didn’t touch each other, like couples do. So maybe we’re cool and can hang out and stuff. Well back to work.

ttfn

Tags: Encryption, Feelings, Social, Work