Learning From Relationships
by Nathan on Oct.06, 2009
Over the past couple of weeks, I have been hanging out with this girl. The first time we went out, we had a great time. That great time turned into pretty much a weekend of great times. The only problem with this was that she was still in love with her ex. Which I can understand, being this was someone she was with for 4 years. We continued to hang out even though she met up with her ex multiple times, each time she felt terrible about herself and knew she had screwed up. I really thought this girl was cool, and probably not always so crazy about things. So I stuck around, trying not to let myself think we had anything more going on than we did. Apparently even that she read too much into and started pushing me away. Until a final blow out in which the truth came out.
During these final moments I could see she wasn’t really as cool as I had thought. In fact she was a shallow hateful person. She told me multiple times that my age wasn’t right for her, that I complained too much, I said “What” too much. All of these things didn’t make me mad, they made me realize how shallow she was. They made me realize that even though I had sacrificed some of my “perfect woman” ideas, she had not and would not do the same for me.
In the “real” relationships I have had, I learned a few things about myself. I learned that once trust is gone, it is nearly impossible to get it back. I learned that if you don’t talk about things in a relationship you are doomed. I learned to not talk to ex’s. I can’t call what me and this girl had a relationship, but I did learn a few things. Things like, don’t fall for someone if you are just their rebound guy, don’t stick around if thing continually fall apart, don’t think just because things move fast everything is alright. I would have to say the biggest thing I learned is that I am the type of person that wants a relationship, not just a “friend“.
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Welcome!
My name is Nathan Warner. I am a system administrator in Huntsville Al, member of Makers Local 256 and a not-so-active Geocacher. Huntsville isn't the best city to have fun, so a lot of the time I make it fun. I helped start Makers Local and right now am working on @HSVsh a scavenger hunt in Huntsville. All of my contact info is at the bottom of the page. Thanks for stopping by!
October 6th, 2009 on 1:47 pm
Rebounds are prone to vicious riptides. No one is either safe or themselves in those waters. There is no clear up or down . . . right feels as wrong as grasping feels right. It isn’t even effective to blame . . . better to learn . . . as you have. Keep your head up and be a-war-y of the tempestuous swells.
What?
October 6th, 2009 on 2:59 pm
pffffff. fuckit, any port in a storm.
November 1st, 2009 on 10:46 pm
I hope you learned that myself is one word. LoL, I am really glad that you mentioned communication too, I would say you really need to work on that one.
January 12th, 2010 on 3:54 pm
The summation of the bests things I’ve ever learned about relationships has been captured in the book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”.
I’m a 44 yr old hetero man, and I recommend this book to ANYONE who wants to learn how to deal with a relationship better. It not only works for close relationships, but all relationships.
(No, I don’t get a cut for promoting the book, it’s just that damned good)
Oh, and for those of you who are telling yourself you’ll go get it, do it. Apathy is the most likely cause of your failing relationships.
Good Luck!
That’s my 2¢, YMMV.
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dc0de.